It’s bad—real bad. Nuclear explosion bad. The kind of bad where I’m dropping my pants before I can even get the bathroom door all the way closed. The kind of bad where I’m shuffling over to the toilet in an inefficient mad rush as my brain disregards normal procedure in favor of getting my quivering black ass onto a bowl double-time. I make it with milliseconds to spare, gripping the seat with both hands and delivering the loudest, raunchiest, most massive shit-baby in all of human history—
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